Sitting on the balcony, listening to America by Simon & Garfunkel, and drinking a glass of rosé. Almost Famous comes to mind. Great film.

It's all happening...

Thinking about lost friendships. How one minute you're saying i love you, and the next, they're gone, and you're left wondering what they're doing with their time, and wishing you could to talk to them like it was the old days.

july songs so far:

I spent the morning making some drawings for my summer art project. Four of them are done and on their way to their forever homes to be read and tucked away in books, to be pinned on a fridge or placed on a shelf perhaps. Tiny paper notes traveling across the globe.

finished postcards...can you guess which one is yours?

Thinking about the passage of time and trying not to spiral about the end of summer and the reality of finding work again. Can time not slow down? Will I be able to find work that doesn't make me want to unalive myself?

Things Seen by Annie Ernaux

my fanciful summer wishlist:

reading print magazines/books

sending handwritten postcards and letters

handmade bed quilt > duvet

playing cards by candlelight

more candles and boxes of matches

going to a drive-in (i've never been)

making writer friends

nighttime walks

nighttime drives

following my curiosities

white linen nightgown (not sure i can pull this off but i'm attracted to it)

jazz/classical music (i want to soak in something new)

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blog vs. email letter:

i'm sorry i keep boring you with this topic but...

It seems that many of you prefer reading a blog post through RSS or visiting a website directly than receiving a letter via email. This is good information.

results from a mastodon poll i did

Although this kind of crushes my hopes of building my PencilBooth email letter. I've worked hard on it and derive pleasure from sending it to you, but perhaps my efforts would be best redirected back toward this blog.

Everything is a wip i suppose. I keep trying different things but perhaps i should concentrate on what platforms i like, and put things out in the world that i want to see instead of worrying about what everyone else likes.

goal this week: to pivot toward my curiosities and take the steps necessary to actualize my "bigger picture" goals. Keep writing/making things that feel genuine and true.

polaroid summer coneflowers

reading: Devouring essays by Rachel Connolly.

watching: My Lady Jane. This show is so fun, light, and charming. A perfect summer watch! Synopsis: Lady Jane Grey and her husband Guildford live during the reign of Edward, son of Henry VIII. She unexpectedly finds herself crowned queen overnight and becomes the target of criminals who want her throne and her head.

Working on: a text self-portrait in zine format, a Master List blog post for Fall including books, links, lists, movies, and wishes, making mood playlists instead of monthly ones, trying to figure out what I want to do for work, building my Polaroid photos collection for another zine I'm making (too many zines on the brain), subscribing to above-my-intellect-newsletters to broaden my reading landscape, giving Are.na another shot, thanking my lucky stars for my current state of life.

✧you're my internet crush✧

• In true serendipitous fashion, after rabbit-holing down a throng of blogs, I came across the writing of Lauren Cook, a transsexual naturalist and writer from Upstate New York. I bought his book Sex Goblin immediately after reading an excerpt from my new favorite literary magazine Angel Food. This is the kind of writing that makes me want to write.

• The Earthly Connections section from Angel Food, is so darling. These snippets entail personals ads, missed connections, apartment listings, and <3 notes. This page evokes old, smoky coffee shop vibes, with newspaper pages riddled with red pen circles.

• A Series of Details written by Goofpunk, was such a fun read. It almost read like a short story. Goofpunk...I think you should write short fiction:))

• Goodbye Domains. A graveyard for good domains you let expire.

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blurry Polaroid cone flowers from my neighborhood this morning

Thoughts:

What if I started a quirky literary magazine?

Why is it that when a famous woman dies, they only show pictures of her when she was young and beautiful? What about her...now? Her present life—erased. She's only as good as her best-photographed younger self.

I'd like to learn film photography.

Yesterday, through my Summer Postcard Project, I met a new internet friend, Lola, an artist and designer from Spain. She wrote me the sweetest message, and I can't wait to send her a postcard all the way to Europe!

My bf is camping with his parents up in Arrowhead, and he filmed the bonfire they shared last night. I was privy to the unhurried conversations of a family, his family, and one, it made me miss the comfort of having parents, and two, he sounded so innocent in a way. It made me realize that when we're happy and content, we unconsciously unravel our former child-like presence.